Esthetic
by Dash24zappshift
Summary: I was used to it. You were used to it. And yes, we were used to it.


_"Were you always this beautiful?"_

 _The sunlight from up above was shining on you. Bright rays hit your beautiful skin, it was radiant as always; contrasting with the dark black hair you have. The smile you have when your eyes stare at me. The blinding grin of yours, capturing my attention as I let you control me. My purple ones in your grasp._

 _Mesmerized. I fiddled with my red locks as I averted my gaze. It was never my intention to let my vision settle on you. I hated you to begin with. Well, that's what I say everyday. I pouted slightly as I make another excuse, it was accidental. Yet you make a fuss about it. You let your annoying smirk reach your mouth and began poking me, saying irrational words that you assumed are my reasons._

 _Some of them may be true, but I just rolled my eyes and began retorting. It was our daily routine. It was repetitive, it can be annoying. It was full of flabbergasted opinions, but we knew it wasn't entirely true._

 _One of us will stare back as the other will do the remarks. We fight till we are out of breath. Though deep inside, we knew it wasn't serious. We intentionally hurt ourselves with each kind of verbal thing we could muster and come up with. We were used to it._

 _Yeah, we were used to it._

 _The other members noticed how much many quarrels we are having. They would laugh and just shake their heads in dismay. I would blush, and so would you._

 _Slowly, I knew we were having that subtle bond. It can't be really seen. But it was there._

 _Your cheeks would match your red bloody eyes. While mine will match my hair._

 _We had something. I never doubt it for a second. Together when we were alone, we would stay silent. I would read whatever pocketbook I have while you carry on with your idols in the computer. While everybody is used to our fights, we are also used to this kind of silence. A silence that was comforting. It was warm despite the fact that this kind of atmosphere doesn't correspond with the usual yells we have with each other._

 _Yeah, we were used to it._

 _You would let the chair roll and you stopped the momentum when you reached me, disturbing my reading. I would raise my eyebrow, pretending to be not curious when in reality, I was already interested in you._

 _"Neh, Maki. If I get married to a man someday, would you come to the wedding?" You asked out of nowhere._

 _I don't know why but the question really hit something inside of me that was fragile. I gave you my usual dismay look and I snorted._

 _"Of course you idiot. What kind of question is that?" I just let myself go with the flow. Can't be jealous to someone who isn't even mine yet._

 _"Sure you will. A stupid question it was" You squinted your eyes into the empty air._

 _It was another practice and we were all drenched in sweat. The music I composed was something I was proud. My heart still tingle in happiness as I reminisce all the things that have passed and looking back, composing sure was hard._

 _Eli would catch everybody's attention and we would all stare._

 _"Soon, we will be graduating. I just want to let you guys how much we will miss you. It's really saddening that we are reminded that Muse will be disbanding. It was…really a nice feeling that we have come a long way…and…Thanks. I'm truly grateful that I have met you guys" Eli ended her speech as graceful as a ballerina she was._

 _Right. You were graduating. Another clench of my hands and I knew I was deeply in pain. The thought of you leaving, never left me._

 _The day ended and finally it was time to go. I didn't even realize that this was one of your last days with us. I sighed to myself, thinking how stupid I was for not making something memorable with you._

 _I saw a flash of black and pink that stride the hallways. My lavender eyes followed the figure. I carried my bag and walked out of the classroom. My light steps echoing through the empty corridors as I scanned my eyes at the area._

 _I saw you._

 _I followed to where you were heading. It was a pain to hide, but, I guess it was worth a try._

 _Your black hair dangled side to side as you elegantly walked. Small steps, as it matches your quickening heartbeats as you breathe. You stand in front of the piano room and the wooden door was there._

 _Then it struck me._

 _'Was she looking for me?'_

 _"Huh…usually she would be around here somewhere…" You mumbled to yourself._

 _It was about time and I finally showed up. I tapped your shoulder as you spun around to look at me._

 _"Oh! Hey Maki. I was looking for you" You smiled and grabbed for my hand._

 _"Let's go in!"_

 _I didn't even remove your petite hands from mine. The soft silky skin you have as I blush harder with the contact. You turned to me as you beamed again._

 _"I have a special request. And be grateful that I, the great Nico-Nii will be asking you instead" You boasted as usual._

 _And for the first time, I didn't rolled my eyes. I smiled genuinely at you._

 _I sat at the stool of the piano as I open the lid of the grand piano._

 _"Sugeh. How did you know that I wanted you play the piano?"_

 _I didn't answer and began playing the piano. I forgot what this song was called. It was one of her favorites and I guess…my whole self decided that I should practice this kind of song._

 _The aura was melodic. It was peaceful._

 _I guess…you could say that we were used to it._

 _We were used to being there for each other._

 _"Hey…Maki…" You started._

 _I didn't quite heard what you said as I continued playing._

 _"I…really…" You fidgeted and I stopped playing._

 _"What?" I repeated._

 _Your eyes were sorrowful for a second. It was heartbreaking to see you like this. You just blinked away the tears I almost saw as you grinned again._

 _"I would really miss your songs"_

 _'Yeah…I would miss you too' I thought to myself as we both smiled at each other._

 _Yeah, we were used to it._

* * *

Years passed by. All the short words that I have known and longed to say was gone.

But then again, I was used to it.

I'm a grown adult and I knew she already have someone else. It was not really surprising. I loved you and maybe you love someone else. It was not my place to decide whom you should love. It was never my place to love you to begin with.

I stroll along the corridors of the hospital. I was assigned to a new patient, I heard that she was new and her surgery was done. All that is left now is an expert to check any more vital damages. Meaning, me.

I arrived at the door. Not noticing the nameplate that was attached at the wall near the door. There was a weird gut feeling in my stomach that there's something. Something…

I slowly grabbed for the door as I slid it open. The patient was lying down on the bed, occupying it. A lot of tubes was attached and her black hair was tangled with it.

I raised my eyebrow in curiosity. I reached in and,

 _ **I saw you.**_

Now I'm standing in front, thinking if I should be happy to see you again, or should I cry since I'm too hurt to even look at you right now.

Yes, we were now used to not seeing each other after a long time.

And things are too cliché right now that you don't even know what to feel.

 _ **I missed you.**_

But I don't want to see you like this.

I'm not used to it,

Probably you are not used to it.

Then maybe,

We both are not used to it after all.

* * *

 **It has been idk a long time since I've written and I've become so rusty. Let's just say I don't have the certain gadget I need to publish my stories and I got busy with my last year in JHS. Time flies so fast and my old stories are all dusty and old. I don't know when will I fix them but hey, enjoy this hella short one-shot of mine for now *insert smiley face***

 **See u around -Dash24zappshift**


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